(Fake) Chapter Titles of Dick Cheney's Memoir:
Chapter 1: How I Got My Nickname "Dick". It's Probably Pretty Close to How You Think I Got It
Chapter 2: How To Not Serve in the Military But Act Like You Did
Chapter 3: How the Constitution Really Works: The Vice President Is in Charge
Chapter 4: How To Defend Your Administration's Legacy
Chapter 5: How To Commit Treason & Get Away With It: See Valerie Plame
Chapter 6: Enhanced Interrogation Techniques That I Enjoy
Chapter 7: Who Am I Kidding, It's Torture, And I Love It And I Don't Care Who Knows
Chapter 8: How To Open and Run a Prison Outside the USA and Outside the Purview of USA Laws
Chapter 9: How To Make a Scary Face: Try to Look Like the Penguin From Batman
Chapter 10: How To Make a Decorated Military Veteran Look Bad: See What I Did to Colin Powell
Chapter 11: How To Make Your Old Company Millions: Ensure That It Doesn't Have to Bid Against Anyone Else For Government Contracts
Chapter 12: Al Qaeda & Iraq: There's a Link There, I Just Know It, Intelligence Be Damned
Chapter 13: Friends I've Shot In the Face (That You Know Of)
Chapter 14: How to Stay Alive: New Human Heart Each Full Moon
Chapter 15: How to Not Fade Away Gracefully
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