Thursday, June 25, 2009

So Dick Cheney Is Writing His Memoir


(Fake) Chapter Titles of Dick Cheney's Memoir:

Chapter 1: How I Got My Nickname "Dick". It's Probably Pretty Close to How You Think I Got It

Chapter 2: How To Not Serve in the Military But Act Like You Did

Chapter 3: How the Constitution Really Works: The Vice President Is in Charge

Chapter 4: How To Defend Your Administration's Legacy

Chapter 5: How To Commit Treason & Get Away With It: See Valerie Plame

Chapter 6: Enhanced Interrogation Techniques That I Enjoy

Chapter 7: Who Am I Kidding, It's Torture, And I Love It And I Don't Care Who Knows

Chapter 8: How To Open and Run a Prison Outside the USA and Outside the Purview of USA Laws

Chapter 9: How To Make a Scary Face: Try to Look Like the Penguin From Batman

Chapter 10: How To Make a Decorated Military Veteran Look Bad: See What I Did to Colin Powell

Chapter 11: How To Make Your Old Company Millions: Ensure That It Doesn't Have to Bid Against Anyone Else For Government Contracts

Chapter 12: Al Qaeda & Iraq: There's a Link There, I Just Know It, Intelligence Be Damned

Chapter 13: Friends I've Shot In the Face (That You Know Of)

Chapter 14: How to Stay Alive: New Human Heart Each Full Moon

Chapter 15: How to Not Fade Away Gracefully